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Thinking About Cheating? Try To Understand Why

It might not be a topic that you're proud to think about, but if you're tempted to cheat on your spouse or partner, it's often advantageous to think about why. The simple answer might be that you're attracted to someone else and have sexual urges that you want to satisfy, but relationship infidelity is often more complicated. A desire to cheat can often come from the fact that you're unhappy with your relationship to some degree. While it's true that people can still cheat if they're in happy relationships, this behavior can especially be prevalent when there are conflicts between you and your significant other. Instead of acting on your urges, try to understand why you're feeling them — and then consider marriage counseling to improve the situation. Here are some reasons that you may be inclined to cheat.

You Don't Feel Seen

In order to build a strong relationship with your spouse or partner, you need to feel seen. If you don't believe that your partner sees you, it can be tempting to look outside of the relationship for attention. Not being seen doesn't simply mean that your partner doesn't look at you, although that could be part of the problem. You may attempt to dress up when your partner gets home from work, but he or she doesn't comment. You may get a stylish new haircut that goes unrecognized, or you may even make a suggestion that your partner doesn't acknowledge.

You Lack Sexual Compatibility

You might be mostly happy with your relationship with your spouse or partner, but feel as though your sexual compatibility is lacking. If you're not on the same page in this regard, and you've voiced your desires but found that your partner isn't willing to experiment with them, you might feel the temptation of sexual experimentation with someone else. This could be as simple as the frequency with which you want intimate time. If you want sex multiple times per week but your partner feels that once a month is fine, you could feel compelled to cheat.

Your Life Lacks Excitement

Some people cheat simply because they want to create some excitement in their lives. Even though they know that cheating is wrong, they get something of a thrill by meeting someone else for clandestine rendezvous. Think of the various elements of your life and ask yourself if they're filled with excitement — in many cases, the answer may be no. Once you've identified the likely reason for your feelings, visit a counselor with or without your significant other.